dryeyes | VILLAINS open post

It's fine. I don't mind the noise.

[He could hear the TV from his room anyways. Shigaraki had come to know when certain teachers were in the lounge based on the TV shows playing. He knows now who is here when Aizawa isn't. Not always but sometimes.

Even though Aizawa takes the time to clear the couch, he still picks the separate chair. He takes the time to acclimate himself to the surroundings which were basically brand new to him. Tired red eyes looking at the decor, glancing briefly at the papers Aizawa's grading, and even stares at the TV for a bit. Have you heard the latest meme craze!? It's called Y-posing!!

Shigaraki visibly relaxes once he's taken in the surroundings, his gaze lingering a little at the hallway that had the dormitory doors- like he was waiting for someone. He doesn't ask about Eri or say anything but it's clear that her little stunt yesterday had some unforeseen impact on Shigaraki. He looks at Aizawa, watching him silently before opening his journal.

It's different from the other times he's been hunched over his journal because he actually looks relaxed and thoughtful. Not at all stressed and bored from this tiring exercise. He's actually writing things down rather than the bored doodles and scribbles. It keeps him pretty occupied but he does look up occasionally at Aizawa, and over at the hallways every once in a while.]

[It's not his job to know what's in Shigaraki's journal, so Aizawa does what he does best: minds his own business. After all, they had a double standard here. He was used to living and working here. It didn't really bother him to be stared at, even by someone who once did him harm. Shigaraki, though, was still adjusting to the place and was- skittish.]

[From the hoodies to the way he hid away in his room, Shigaraki didn't need extra eyes on him.]

[But apparently he was fine with company. So, Aizawa doesn't move. Even when he finishes his pile of grading he simply shuffles them into a neater stack and leaves them on the table. He flips through his magazine. There's apparently a special on sphynx cats inside. Whatever idiot was editing it didn't find it important enough to be the cover story but there was a small picture of one in the corner that had caught Aizawa's eye in the first place.]

[He takes small looks occasionally. It's a relief to see him actually working in that thing. At one point he glances up at the exact moment Shigaraki is looking at him and-]

[He freezes, for a moment. Just a moment. He's a pro, after all.]

You know, if you went and knocked on her door, she'd probably come out.

[Eri had clearly made some sort of breakthrough. Aizawa's not going to give himself any credit for Eri's bravery. He doesn't assume any actual interest from Shigaraki besides as a guardian.]

[Busted. He looks at Aizawa carefully, trying to determine if this was some kind of test. One hand slowly goes to his neck, gently starting to scratch at the skin.]

I don't know what to say. [That's fair. He hasn't really had much interactions with anyone since his arrival here. Only the minimum with Aizawa and the few forced conversations out of the dinner group. His therapist is probably the one person who gets more than a few words out of him a day and even then it's exhausting on Shigaraki's part and like pulling teeth for the therapist. Hopefully Eri's bravery has opened up the door for Shigaraki to finally come out of that turtle shell he's wedged himself into.

He does stand up though. Despite not knowing what to say or even where her door is. Shigaraki's still gently picking at his neck]

[It's probably harder than he could imagine. After all, he was fortunate enough to find someone almost immediately in high school who would always come over and sit with him. His life had expanded to the point he had so many of those people. He'd never had to ask for it. If he really had to, he wouldn't be sure, either.]

... if you want, [there's a bit of hesitation to his voice. When it came to teaching or hero work, he never hesitated. This was just unsteady footing for the both of them.]

You can tell her I asked for company. [If it were easier and less anxiety-inducing, he could free himself from the experience. He would just be delivering a message for Aizawa. Eri could come out and sit with them without him feeling examined and evaluated for it. It was just a scaffold for what he wanted to do.]

You don't have to know what to say right away.

[That he could say with certainty, turning a page in his magazine.]

Ok. Thanks. [Shigaraki moves towards the dorms, leaving his journal on his seat to claim it. It doesn't take him long to find Eri's door- it's the one with the cute little sign. He looks back at Aizawa, uncertain if he really wanted to go through with this. But Shigaraki pushes past whatever's holding him back because he knocks softly on Eri's door. It opens and for a moment it looks like Shigaraki might flee from fear of confrontation.]

Um. [He looks over at Aizawa and sheepishly points.] Aizawa wants our company.

[There's an emphasize on "our" so he has an excuse for being there. But it doesn't matter. Eri seems to be more than happy to accept this for fact as she scurries back into her room to grab some things to keep herself, and the others, entertained before heading over to the couch.

Shigaraki on the other hand waits a little bit, trying to calm down from the encounter before going back to his seat. There's the briefest of smiles on his face as he picks his journal back up, watching over Aizawa and Eri on the couch and then finishing up his writing. It's long, whatever he's writing about, since he has to flip the pages twice to fully get every word down.

Aizawa's going to get a very happy phone call from the therapist tomorrow for sure.]

[It's a little humorous, maybe, to see him so scared of talking to a little girl. It works out fine, of course. He's allowed that excuse and uses it to get what he needs. He nods to Eri as she comes and settles down in the seat next to him with her coloring book. Every now and then she'll prop herself up to look over Aizawa's shoulder at a picture of a cat.]

[Sometimes she asks about what's on TV and Aizawa shrugs. She can ask Yamada later. Eri says that sometimes Yamada can be scary because he's so loud. Aizawa laughs under his breath, a low and knowing sound. It's probably the least stern he's looked within the whole month.]

[A lot of their time is spent in silence but it's fine.]

[He gives all the credit to Eri on the phone call the next day. He's glad there's been some progress. Please continue to let him know if there's anything he can do to ease the transition process.]

[... the next day there will be matching pink Hello Kitty pencils for the two of them. Aizawa can be caught working on a number puzzle with a third pink pencil.]

[Likewise the therapist asks him to keep noting anything that Aizawa thinks is an issue. His notes are excellent for keeping an accurate depiction of Shigaraki's day-to-day activities, especially with how reluctant the ward seemed to be on reflecting on his own behaviors. Or realizing that his own behaviors weren't exactly helping him. Still, Eri was helping him step in the right direction because he was finally taking a hand in his own therapy by asking questions and asking if they could focus on this or that rather than the therapist tackling which issues to discuss.

It gave him a responsibility beyond "follow the rules."

His session also fostered some confidence into his actions that day. Instead of going to his room right after therapy, he opted to stay in the lounge. He even moved the chair closer to the couch so he could be next to Aizawa and Eri while still maintaining a safe distance. His demeanor was also noticeably less gloomy.

This pencil however... got a weird sort of curiosity out of Shigaraki. He rolls the Hello Kitty pencil between two fingers, distracted by how adorable the lovable mascot was. Eventually he looks over at Aizawa and Eri, leaning a little bit to watch Aizawa do the number puzzle.]

It should be three. [He points thoughtfully.]

[Eri can show outward delight at the cuteness of the pencil. She wasn't really fond of too many gifts. Gifts reminded her of being bribed and people trying to buy her trust. This was so different, though, with Aizawa clearly using one himself. She'd never had anything matching with anyone before and there's a sort of childish excitement now. She's using crayons to color in her coloring book but the pencil sits neatly on her lap.]

[Aizawa is expecting this to be a much longer process. So, when that finger gets a bit closer to his personal space, he's a bit startled. He had expected Shigaraki to act like some sort of gargoyle, perching in the chair and waiting indefinitely.]

[It seems like more progress was being made than he thought.]

Huh. [It's not outright praise but it isn't rejection, either. He'll scribble the number in.]

We'll see if that works. Have you done many of these before? [There were always little questions like that at dinner. They were ways for him to socialize, to open up. Aizawa usually wasn't the one giving them, though.]

[He nods at the question.] I played a lot of games before.

[He wasn't entirely raised to hate heroes every waking moment. Even though his childhood was far from normal, Shigaraki still played games and worked on puzzles as a small child. It's how his vocabulary and world view of his schemes evolved from. It wasn't just 'game over' and 'ggez heroes' but also strategic skills and critical thinking that had helped guide him with his previous organization. Just because everyone wanted him to behave and be good now, doesn't mean that his skills and experiences could ever go away.]

I like difficult games. [As long as he can win them, it seems.]

[It was easy to just think of Shigaraki as some sort of primed and groomed villain without anything else there. It was easy but it wasn't accurate. This was useful, though. This was another interest. If they were eventually going to coax Shigaraki into a normal civilian life he'd need hobbies just like anyone else. It could be something to do, other than sleeping, scratching, and writing in his journal.]

I agree. If they're too easy then what's the point? [Even Aizawa's hobbies were productive in one way or another. He'd take all three of them fishing if he weren't so sure that would be a pain for Shigaraki with his limitations.]

Although I haven't played a real game in a while. Haven't been to an arcade since high school. [what are console games]

[Honestly in a month or two if he's still making good progress some of his limitations could be lifted. Probably even encouraged by his therapist and other professionals helping him.]

Easy solution puzzles don't really teach you the basics either. If there's no difficulty to it, you can't learn from it. [Go hard or go home.]

I haven't been to an arcade. But I used to play games on the TV and a handheld.

[He kinda misses playing them. But he also knows his situation, he isn't stupid enough to ask for things that are a certainty to getting declined.]

[How technology has advanced. For him, the greater draw of the arcade was probably Mic's invitations than the games themselves. There was something satisfying about a good puzzle, though. It was like a mental exercise.]

I can get you some of these, [he lifts the book he's working on a bit] if you're interested.

[Shigaraki still asked for so little. When someone doesn't ask for anything, Aizawa can step in. He can offer it. It's really one of the least things they could get him. He could still have interests and hobbies. They can't get up to handhelds, yet, but little logic puzzles should be fine.]

Yeah... [There's some hesitancy in his voice. Asking for things was still a hurdle. Everyone had suspected he'd be demanding because he'd certainly had a tough time not getting everything he wanted in prison. Again he knows his situation- knows that he's not calling the shots anymore.]

I'd like that. [He admits quietly with a nod.] Can I get some logic puzzles too?

[Because he knows he'll get through the number puzzles quickly.]

[Certainly, a demand would be annoying. There was a line between asking and demanding, though. Shigaraki would learn that line. He would adjust.]

Sure. [That was a logical extension of the request. Besides, it wasn't even like the books cost much.]

How quickly do you think you'll get through them anyways? [It's asked more in a light, joking manner although it can be really hard to tell with Aizawa.] Just an estimate. [No, that doesn't make it more or less clearly a joke. Maybe. Eri can't tell, he tends to be a bit... softer with her.]

[He gives Aizawa's question a quick look over. With so little to do with his freetime, he'd be able to get through the puzzles fairly quickly.]

Thirty minutes? [Ha. His own joke.] Probably an hour depending on the type. I can use grid paper so you can use the books as well?

[Thoughtful. He was finally showing that he was capable of considering others. It's not really a growth that could be contributed to therapy or his time spent under house arrest. But it's still a bit of a highlight for him considering the circumstances in which it was a casual sort of compassion.]

You could probably find free ones online.

[Again with trying to minimize his requests.]

[There's a bit of a snicker at the reply, an understanding. Yeah, with nothing else to do, it would be easy to just plow through as many puzzles as possible. Eri sort of looks between them, not quite getting the joke.]

I've got a lot of other things I could be doing. [which was part of why he could do them so leisurely, after all]

... I could probably do them on my tablet, if I wanted, I'm just old fashioned. [If he did them on his tablet, then Shigaraki wouldn't have the share the books at all. It's a weird situation, in which Shigaraki is trying to share and Aizawa is trying to give him something.]

[He leans forward a bit where he's sitting, resting the book of puzzles on his lap. He twirls the Hello Kitty pencil in his fingers.] I like pencil and paper when it comes to relaxing.

[His tablet was for work and cat videos. Cat videos were also relaxing but, well. He needed the digital apparatus for cat videos. It was essential.]

I don't want to burden you. [He says it sincerely as he watches Aizawa's Hello Kitty pencil get twirled around. He's a little jealous that others are able to so carelessly use their hands like that.]

I'm going to go through them quickly. [Maybe he should learn impulse control? Shigaraki raises a hand to scratch at his shoulder, reminded suddenly of his other impulses he needed to better manage. He scratches a little harder than he really needs to before pulling his hand away. So far? He's still gotten away with the scratching in front of others. In a way he's learning to curb the destructive behavior but Aizawa is probably already aware that at night it's a different story.]

[Aizawa's eyes flick over from the Hello Kitty pencil to Shigaraki's neck. Drawing attention to that habit, especially around Eri, could be a little dangerous. It wouldn't be dangerous due to the fear of Shigaraki lashing out. He was much more subdued these days. The worry was mainly in emphasizing that anxiety and, unintentionally, making it worse.]

[His glance shows that he notices. He just doesn't say anything.]

I'll see about looking up some free ones online. [A very brief pause as he fills in a square in the book in front of him]

It's not a burden. [He keeps it neutral. He's not mushy enough to say that Shigaraki wasn't a burden. Objectively, he was more work. He was just more work Aizawa didn't particularly care one way or the other about. He tilts his head, addressing Eri,]

Do you want to try? He can help. [He points with his pencil towards Shigaraki. Eri looks between the two of them for a bit, a little panicked to have the attention on her again, then offers a small nod.]

[Eyes widen when Aizawa tells Eri that Shigaraki would help her and while he doesn't protest, it's clear that his anxiety has spiked up in that moment. He's still cautious and shy around Eri, more so than she is around him. The words of the escorts from the day he arrived at U.A. still rang pretty loudly in his ears- about being a fuck up and trying not to burden U.A. Somehow that twisted into not scaring or harming the poor girl.]

She's smart... [He says, as if that means she doesn't need his help. It's a weird compliment and Shigaraki definitely means it. Eri is pretty smart. But being around her made him fully aware of what kind of person he could have been. If only he'd been rescued by heroes. Shifting uncomfortably in his seat at the thought, he looks at Eri with a small nod. One hand reaches for the back of his neck, fingers smoothing over the old scars but not quite scratching. Not yet.]

She's six.

[Aizawa was a painfully independent child. Still, asking a child to do something particularly complex by themselves... they'd learn, sure, but nowhere near as easily as when another person helped them along. That went doubly when the child was probably more interested in the person helping than the task.]

[Either way, Aizawa flips to one of the easier pages that he had skipped entirely and offers the book to Eri. She takes it, grasping the pages firmly and setting it down on her lap. It's almost like she can sense Shigaraki's hesitation because she just stares intently down at the puzzle, determined to try on her own, first.]

[And Aizawa sighs, because he doesn't know what to do with two tiny versions of himself and no tiny Hizashi.]

If you get stuck, it's fine to ask. How about that? [and he glances over at Shigaraki as he says it, implying he's asking there as well.]

[Shigaraki clams up, embarrassed that maybe he'd fucked up at what Aizawa was triyng to accomplish with him here. He stares hard at the puzzle too, avoiding Aizawa's gaze out of shame until he hears the next bit that comes out of Aizawa.

He looks up, notices that Aizawa is looking at him too, and nods in agreement.]

Yeah. You can ask me. [Maybe that would have corrected his mistake earlier.] I just... don't want to assume y'know?

[Aizawa does wonder, belatedly, if Shigaraki has ever had any experience with children. FRom the files the police had put together, he was hardly given an opportunity to be a child, much less interact with them.]

[It's a chance to learn. While Aizawa won't apologize for his brusqueness, he does realize where the conflict was coming from.]

Even smart people ask for help. It's good that you don't want to deny her the opportunity to learn, at least.

[Although Eri looks a bit hesitant at the whole exchange, now sort of unsure if she should ask for help or not. Great job, gentlemen.]

[He's a manchild groomed for villainy. Of course he never had any experience with children or socializing normally with people his age. Hell, he had a hard time making friends even in the League or with people who had similar goals like Stain. Always demanding that they go "die immediately" when they didn't match the descriptor he'd gotten about them or picking fights.

But it didn't have to be that way forever. The simple fact that Shigaraki came out of his room because Eri was in the common area was a big leap forward. But it didn't exactly teach him how to behave around others or that it's ok to have relationships that didn't hinge on him being the center of the universe.

Shigaraki doesn't go back to his room even though Aizawa had been firm with him. Instead he peers over at the easy puzzle Eri was opened to and pointed at one of the numbers.]

You want to have one in each row and column without repeating. There's only two more threes that can fit, do you see them?

[Unsure if he's doing a good job helping, his other hand sneaks to the back of his neck, picking at it relentlessly. He avoids looking at Aizawa, certain that the guardian knows what's going on. He doesn't want to get called out for his bad behavior so he chooses to hyper fixate on Eri's puzzle.]

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